Planning ahead for the big adventure, we worked really hard to get our home into tip-top shape. To make it look like we really were good homeowners with a house worthy of care. We had come a long way in the domicile department, starting with a single room in another couple’s apartment to owning our own home in our own neighbourhood with friends all around. And then we moved here to Aix-en-Provence.
There are so many reasons that this was the right step for this particular phase in our lives. The boys are the right age to still be able to drop their life in Toronto for a new one in Europe. They are all still young enough to benefit from the agility of the young in learning languages. I am still a stay-at-home mother with the flexibility accompanying the title, as opposed to a new hire in a new position with little to no flexibility in my schedule. And Ed was at a good point professionally to step back and focus on his research before he takes on new responsibilities upon his return.
But, one thing that has been different, and I admit fun to try back on for the year, is the style of living in a furnished apartment. I feel like I am living a lifestyle much more similar to how I lived in Madison, in graduate school, than to how I live in Toronto. The furniture is definitely cobbled together. The cushions on the sofa need to be reassembled each day so that they can be sat upon by the next person. The dishes in the kitchen are of many varying vintages, each one chipped. The two twin beds for Noah and Micah that are held together by a single queen sheet are a balancing act each night for the adult laying between the two mattresses, suspended by a mere 100 thread count.
But I would not change any aspect of the experience. It has really opened my eyes again to how portable my life can be. And as to how little value the actual items I own in Toronto actually add to my day-to-day experience. And as to how the important the items that we did choose to bring actually are. We have a number of card and small board games that we could not do without. The number of books is an issue, but we are still working our way around that one. The public library still has a few books the boys have not read yet, and there is always rereading. And I can not underestimate the value of pens and paper for us. It is amazing to me how little space our possessions take up, but how much we actually do with all of them.
This was all driven home to me while my in-laws were visiting last week. My mother-in-law brought some very thoughtful tea towels with her. Perfect. They were small and useful. And while she was here she found some silicone muffin wrappers. Also small, and she knows how much I love to bake. But then I realized that I needed to put them away. And the sesame oil that I was so thrilled to find last week now needed to find a place on the shelf. And the extra bottles of milk that we purchased while we rented the car also needed a space. And so, the longer we live here, the more STUFF I find that I need to store, stash, incorporate into my life.
It is a stark change from the basics that we had at the end of our time in Toronto. We had more than a few, um, creative meals before we left to use up such-and-such an ingredient. And when we first moved here I only had access to what I could find easily, through the market and in the most immediate of stores. In the kitchen I have a very small set of shelves to store all of my pantry items and it is getting quite crowded on them. The hoarding techniques of my Toronto life do not apply very well here in Southern France or, at least, not in this apartment.
So, you might ask, have I learned my lesson? Will I try to keep things small? I hope so. It does help, I think, that we are trying to live with a cash economy, as opposed to using credit. It is much harder to shell out big bucks for those extra bottles of milk knowing that they will just sit on a shelf biding their time. Plus it is harder to cart them all back! The philosophy of buying only what you need is much more apropos to a life where you are watching every penny go out and then carrying the spoils back to your home in your arms as opposed to in your trunk. It is also way easier to pick up things on my daily routes through the city. Almost all the places where I shop are in easy walking distance.
My tea towels are so pretty I may bring them back to Toronto with me. And those muffin wrappers – let’s just say that they were the perfect vessel to use up the second half of my squash for snack this week and my kids are looking forward to many more of their mom’s favorite give-them-some-veggies after-school snack. And the asian-style slaw I made with the oil even won over my mother-in-law who said it reminded her of Hawaii. . So I guess that I really have graduated out of my university life-style into a slightly more habituated, but still able-to-work-with-less, lifestyle. It’s nice to be able to know and prioritize what makes my life happier, and what can fall by the wayside.
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